Military Stories About Your Time Serving Your Country


@godallmighty I am all outta likes so I stole @Wedge meme…


@godallmighty I always forget about the USCG until somebody mentions it hahaha. One of my co-workers is CG reserve and I tease him all the time.


@godallmighty Thats funny because the last time I heard that joke from an Army guy it ended with US ARMY (retired)…kinda makes ya think :thinking:


got a buddy thats a ex coastie,(Ret) I used to mess with him, all in good fun (still do in fact) told him once, ya know im coming up for re-up, thinkin of going over to the “Coast Guard” he started runnin me the usual re-up spiel, I could do this or this or that, then he made the fatal error of asking me what was the reason i wanted to cross deck to a different branch. told him with a straight face, well as straight as mine gets," so if the boat sinks, i can wade to shore and maybe only get my knees wet"
thought the grizzled ol Master Chief 2 stools down from us at the bar was going to piss himself.

2 weeks later, he epoxied a set of super thrusters to the floor boards of the old FL i was riding.


You know how every unit had that one guy who had no business being in the military? That guy who you wondered how badly the recruiter wanted to make quota, and how in the world he even passed boot camp?

We had one of those guys…

So of course they gave him an M203 grenade launcher. :astonished:

One day he comes up to me and says something is wrong with his weapon. I check it and realize that no tangent sights had been mounted and he was trying to shoot smoke and paint rounds using the rifle sights!!! :dizzy_face:

Thank God he never launched an HE round!

For the life of me I don’t even know how he drew it out the armory that way or why his Sgt didn’t catch it?



How scary to think about it as being ‘the last man standing to have one’s back?’ Unfortunately, it has happened on too many occasions… :frowning:


I’ll let COL Jessup tell the story…


@wedge one of the best movies ever!


@Johnksg maybe his sargent was one of those guys too


@hunter1916 this was during the gulf war and this kid had been pulled from supply or admin to form one of those “replacement companies” (we were expecting a lot of casualties).

I was on the grenade range aka patch of empty desert with my team testing the new MK19s we had drawn off the MPS ship when I saw this kid practically popping smoke rounds at his feet!

Needless to say I got my hustle on to address the situation before the retard popped something other than smoke!

My gunner said he never saw an NCO move as fast as I did that day!


@Johnksg i bet i would have liked to have seen that the serious part and aat lest you can make a laugh and a good story about it


@hunter1916 to be honest I was pretty damned scared and I probably did hit that kid harder than I meant to when I took his weapon away from him.

(Keep in mind units didn’t send their best marines to these replacement companies.)

I know the kid tattled on me because 1st Sgt came to my hooch that afternoon. After I explained why I “assaulted a marine and stole his weapon” he thanked me and even wrote up a meritorious mast for me later.:laughing:

When the kid tried to tell me there “was something wrong with his weapon” and I realized he had no tangent sight I kinda felt bad for him.

He had no idea what the problem was and someone put it in his hands that way!


@Johnksg so you had 2 idiots the supplier and the user


@hunter1916 I am “skimming” a lot of this story trying to keep my posts reasonably short and not write a book, but you don’t even know the half of it!

Things were pretty chaotic back then and we were really surprised that we beat the Iraqis so easily.

But a lot of really, really stupid things were done!


i would belive it john ,but we all make mistakes anyone who says they have never made a mistake never made sweet fxxk all @Johnksg


Favorite Rig:
My gen 1 uparmored LMTV aka “Fat Tony”


Gen 1 was more like a cut off the outer sheet metal and weld on thse flat plates of armor, just don’t put any underneath the the truck. You can see HQ-81 was used for school supply deliveries tot he local Iraqi Schools, used for Class IX repair parts runs down to LSA Anaconda (HQ 81 is behind an up-armored M1114 Humvee). He was a beast, and the fact we kind of “acquired” a turret off of a blown up M1114 Humvee in the Cannibalization Yard, and made it work on Tony. It was the only Gen 1 with an Armored turret I saw my hole time in Iraq.


Is there another way to get the parts you need? In the USMC we just stole from the Army! :grin::+1:


Kinda hard to do for aviation units with F/A-18s and the like. LOL


See that is the difference between squids and jarheads…no imagination! We didn’t just steal parts, we stole the whole end-item! :grin:

Side note: port inspectors can’t tell the difference between an M60 tank and a T72 painted and stenciled to look like one. :astonished:


So, in my example, you stole entire aircraft from the Army, which didn’t even have them in inventory in the first place? :laughing: