Funny and Corny Jokes (Keep It Clean!) 🃏 (Part 1)

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Your a cheap date, I would need at least 10 and then a real good ass kicking afterwards.

Larry :grinning:

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I’ve seen this someplace before, hmmm yes,
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The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60

And then …

KFC inventor died at 94

The inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 — in an earthquake

The Irish inventor of Hennessy cognac died at 98

How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years.

The turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 200 years.

So … Have a drink … Take a nap …

And when you wake up, have bacon and eggs! and a Coors light, :rofl:

Larry :innocent:

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image

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NSFWOK NSFWOR NSFWOR

I don’t fully agree 100%, but Fvck Yeah :us:

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Welcome to the POUND!

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Why are they called “apartments” when they are all stacked and smashed together?

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“On Saturday [Jan. 15, 2022], Democratic Mayor Muriel Bowser’s vaccine mandate is set to go into effect in Washington, requiring nearly every business and entertainment venue located in the nation’s capital to verify that patrons are vaccinated against COVID-19 with at least one shot. As part of that mandate for patrons over the age of 18, customers will have to show photo ID as proof their name matches the vaccination card they present for entry.

How the hell does this work. A photo ID is required to enter a Washington DC business to show along with your vaccine card but it is racist to ask for an ID if you show up to vote.

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Paint remover, if I remember right…

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Yep, that’s sounds about right.

I didn’t realize it until last year, but apparently I’m a racist. One, because I didn’t support JoJo the Monkey Boy and his ilk (even though I don’t support Trump, which I was automatically accused of next…), and two, because I always thought proof of ID was a requirement of voting in person (as it should be…and now I’m a racist…). Guess that’s why the mail-ins have become so popular. Speaking of which, I thought those were relegated to military serving overseas and folks who were medically bound to a location when I was a kid. Apparently, busy mommies and lazy people now qualify as well…

Sorry for bitching, I read an article over lunch referencing “woke” and how some people think that means “you are current, you are aware and you are sensitive” and it set me off a bit…

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And you forgot the fat squirrel tsk tsk.

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